I know. I know. Where the heck have I been?!? I was writing such awesome witty posts and then I left you with nothing... At least in my head that's what you're all saying. But in real life I got a hand saw, cut down a tree with it and had twins less than two days later. So if they tell you to drink caster oil I say NAY! Cut down a dang tree with a hand saw. It's much more satisfying. Trust me.
I have so many notes on things to share with you all but today has been the day from hell. Ethan (my son, twin B) blew out his diaper first thing. Meanwhile, Eliana (Ell Eee Ahhh nuhhh please do not say Elaina, I still have that saw....) decides to vomit up breakfast. All of it. And in the midst of this I glance over to find my sweet angelic toddler (who is known to many as the terrorist) drinking Ethan's bottle of breastmilk. That's just the first ten minutes after my husband left.
Trip to Walmart. With all three. In a cyclone. Need I say more? P.S. We had to go because terrorist ran out of his diapers.
I ate lunch in my driveway in the car just to have five minutes of contained peace.
Gavin (terrorist toddler) refuses to eat most of the day and naps 45 minutes. Which is conveniently the time it takes for me to pump and bottle feed A&B. wait whuuuut?! Yes. Due to time in the NICU, we have a couple of SUPER lazy latchers. Meaning they will eat one ounce and go to sleep on the boob and want to do that every hour on the hour. AIN'T HAPP NIN. Also Ethan has some super sensitivity to even the tiniest amount of formula as in vomit by the gallon until its bile and then dry heaves sensitivity so although they're not stimulating me to keep my production up, I cannot supplement at all so I am pumping ALL THE TIME and then to feed I usually need one hand free to taze...ummm I mean monitor my toddler with so I feed them separately.....
Then, I clean a bathroom and mop the kitchen because these things have not been done in probably three months (ick gross bleh...say it...I know) and as soon as I finish toddler and Eliana decide to go for gold in a scream-a-thon. This lasts 2 1/2 hours no matter what I do, it does not stop.
Now you're thinking this is it for sure. I assure you it is not but from here it was just your basic hairy bedtime nonsense with a dash of HOLY CRAP YOU THREW OUT PERFECTLY GOOD BREASTMILK?!? I think my boobs need a vacation more than I do.
I will go back to the oh em geee I am so in love with my three gorgeous children next time but at the current moment I am signing off to wash off the spit up and pour myself a stiff drink.
