Pregnant With Twins??

So I guess I'll travel back in time a little bit and tell you a bit about being pregnant with two.  The saying is that every pregnancy is different.  Well being pregnant with two babies is VERY different from being pregnant with one.

It all began pretty much the same.  I peed on a stick (actually I'll be honest I always pee in a cup and dip the stick in..... hats off to you ladies who have better aim) and there was the plus sign.  And here's a secret: save your pennies and do not buy gold infused million dollar pregnancy tests.  The cheapo off brand value pack from Target turns just as positive or just as negative.  I know.  I took approximately eleven tests for my first.... I'm thorough, don't judge me.

A week after said plus sign, I had a belly.  Well I hear you "show" earlier your second time around so I chalk it up to that and move on. 

A week later I am a raging hormonal beast.  I'm sick.  I'm sad.  There is no food on this Earth that I can tolerate and yet I'm starving.  I go to bed every night with a migraine and nausea. 

Now maybe this is you pregnant with one.  Me pregnant with one was covering two-a-day football practices in 105 degree Virginian hell summer and still going to the gym a few times a week so this new chick with all the issues.... what is her deal?!?!   

Back to me pregnant with two.  By week 7 I'm pulling out my maternity shirts.  Still having not gained a single ounce, my belly is starting to raise the eyebrows of people who know me and I haven't even been to a doctor yet.  Here is when my friend the uterus whisperer chimes in "dude I think you're having twins".  Oh shut up, twins don't run in my family, it's not twins.  HA! 

Week 8:  Enter Ultrasound tech:  "Oh look at that.....there's twoooooo".  This girl, in the presence of my husband and then 12 month old, drops a big old fat EFFFF bomb.  Apologizes.  Drops another.  Apologizes.  Begins to cry:  "I'm going to have 3 kids under 2" begins to sob.  "Are they both healthy?"  US tech "Yes"  The sobbing crazy girl smiles yet continues to sob "OK great thanks.....I'm really sorry (sob, snort, sob)" Text to Uterus Whisperer:  "eff you uterus whisperer". 

By the next week I think my husband spoke again.  Meanwhile I'm still sick and having migraines and generally loathing my body's inability to get it together.  I have also at this point googled approximately one thousand articles on the genetic link for twins.  HAHA self:  turns out everyone has an equal chance for identical twins.  There are genetic hyper-ovulators however.  These people release more than one egg per cycle (yielding fraternal twins).  It's only inherited from your own mother so this raises the question:  What kind of super over achieving man has to fertilize them both?!  I married him. 

At the the end of the first trimester:  Pounds gained: -2.  Maternity clothes: yes.  Facebook official: absolutely not, I still can't wrap my head around 3 kids under 2.... plus I now want to punch everyone who says "do twins run in your family".  Stay tuned for the third trimester (yes I said third, there is no second with twins, there is first, third and fifth)