I begin at the end and will go back to the beginning at some point, but the end of the post yet to be published is that I am on anti-biotics. Did you get that? Also I'm sorry I'm not sorry for the details of this post. It's about poop what did you expect???
12 hours after starting the antibiotic my beans begin pooping. And I know you know I really mean diarrhea-ing all kinds of nasty. Not only am I sick enough to be on an anti-biotic (I'm not one of those drug crazy people) but now I am dealing with two leaky butts. You think that statement is bad? come smell my house.... yeah it's like that. At first I'm inconvenienced . Then, the twins get maaaaad about this. Oh they mad! So I'm changing 20 poop diapers a day (plus my toddler poops 1-5 times a day no joke one to FIVE times) and now they are yelling about it during my sleep hour. The one that I'm alotted. Nurse tells us to go get some probiotic Bio-gaia which is difficult to find and would include carting around my never-ending-shitters. NOPE. What else ya got nurse lady? Switch to formula but continue pumping? Alright. Ok. We'll try that one.....
NOPE. Now we go from poopy trails to "ummmm honeyyyy, have you changed a poopy diaper today???" Nobody is poopin' now. Which is excellent for my laundry basket and my wallet (20 poopy diapers a day usually equates to about $4 in diapers a day and 3ish outfits per baby because after the third, you stay naked. It's a rule) not so much for 11 week old tummies. And guess what?? They still maaaad.
Here's where my stories collide to retract my previous stranger rant: I need to trek to Target to buy some Bio whuta with the three who are now mostly gassy and pissed. The set up goes as follows: Ethan in carseat in baby spot; Gavin in giant red attachment forward facing toddler seat thing; Ellie in carseat on floor of giant red monstrosity. It's actually quite pleasant now that I've figured out the setup because I can also actually USE the cart portion.
In the checkout phase of this trip, I am behind a lady with a BEAUTIFUL little boy who has approximately 7 items. She offers to let me go first (so sweet but I had all of the items which is much more than 7). After she realizes I have twins plus terrorist (now kicking Ellie under his feet) she begins telling me how great of a job I'm doing and how great I look. BEST. FRIEND. Then....get this.....she offers to buy me a coffee. Is this lady for real?!? Everyone else in the store is giving me that "HOLY HELL LADY HAVE YOU HEARD OF BIRTH CONTROL" look and this woman and her perfect little angel son have said nice things AND offered help. I think I love her. I had to decline because terrorist is still kicking Ellie and I've now made several threats to him and was expecting CPS to show at any moment.
Back to the poop situation. So we decide to first cut the formula with the tainted breastmilk to see if that produces some stooling. Ethan gets one Hulk poop (imagine those Hulk fists punching you right in the mouth kind of stink and it's green) but it's not much and these kiddos have to be backed up from two days of formu-blah. Last night we switch back to tainted breastmilk and Bio-Blahlahaha and WHAMMY! Oh my goodness I'd throw a baby this stink is so bad! I don't know what in the world it's consistency or color are....not of this world I'll tell you that much. But I believe they have been cleansed. I'm not sure for better or for worse.
One last repeal of the stranger rant-unrelated to all things poop-happened today. CMOR on Hull St. I take all the babies and meet up with my girlfriend the uterus whisperer. As I'm leaving, three strangers all at once hit me with "What beautiful babies!" "You're doing a wonderful job!" and here's my standing ovation "SHE'S DRESSED CUTE WITH MAKEUP ON AND LOOKS GREAT!!!" a-thank-you
And now I hear some sounds that may need addressing....or redressing....
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