Yesterday was a day.
If your boss called you approximattely 117 times a day to ask you the same question. Every day. Including weekends. And you had the same response 117 times. But bossman still called the next day to ask the same question 117 more times.....at what point would you snap? This my dear, sweet, sane friends is what raising a toddler is like. I am SO SICK OF HEARING MYSELF TALK! From the nanosecond I awake every morning until the last three seconds before I fall asleep at night, there is noise. "Caillou is rubbish Sitting on hippo Crayons in time out Daddy be cross." Just a snippet of how TT wakes up in the morning. Notice no punctuation. There is no stopping. I don't even know why I put spaces
Then of course there are two more
Don't they all look so harmless here?
So I may have freaked out last night. After the 118th time of asking TT not to stand on the train table and turn the light on and off in true disco strobe fashion, and trying to feed fussy mcallergies who had left approximately 14 grenade blasts of spitup all over my carpets in a matter of 5 hours and not having showered since teaching my 10:30 AM class (whatever I still haven't showered) and not having slept a solid night in approximately 6 months and eating ONE ORANGE AND ONE 14 OUNCE PROTEIN SMOOTHIE FOR AN ENTIRE DAY INCLUDING 4 1/2 HOURS OF EXERCISE......I may or may not have flipped. the eff. out.
I ran away. Don't panic, I did not leave the kids in care of the dog. I went to the quietest place I could think of at 8:00 PM EST on a Tuesday: Barnes and effing Noble. I walked through the doors like they were the Pearly Gates and angels were singing and a wind gust blew my sweaty ponytail as I took that final step through the threshold and there was peace and it was good. And while there I proceded to buy my children every book I saw that I loved (spoiled) but I also bought this gem
I tell you what my friends, I don't care who you are this is funny.
It has given me approximately 23 1/2 ideas for amazing blog posts for the future in the first 18 pages. It's a reminder that the expectations for good parenting have become completely ridiculous and also that we're all just human so STOP JUDGING EVERY OTHER PARENT EVER ON THE EARTH EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM EVER. Yes I meant that sentence to sound as stupid as you just read it. And now re read it.
So after laughing myself off the ledge last night. I woke up to a different kind of day today. Yes, I had to wipe more butts before 9 am then you probably wipe in a lifetime. No my legs aren't shaved. My hair is insanely dishelved (and I went out in public like this) and still haven't showered since Monday. Say it again: SINCE MONDAY. But I think the universe knew I'd HAD IT.
I met my fabulous friend/boss/sometimes other mother to my children/sister from some guy that's not my dad (you lol'd I know you did) to give her a gem I found her on my trip to heaven and back last night. She always listens, helps with my
Well let me go back briefly to tell you that my 5 month old princess pea had a poopy dipe.
This girl
Only brought size 6 diapers. Which is approximately 4 sizes too big for little miss tiny heiny. So I proceded to put one on her anyway and it covered her baby nips and wrapped around her like a toga. But whatevs...... (idiot!!!!)
One of these awesome moms that I met at the park arrives with baby sans shoes for park play. Truthfully no fault of her own. But as per "mom-ness" dictates you have to: blames herself and feels like an idiot. Whatever, come to find out mulch chips don't hurt if you put socks on your fat little baby feet. Her little girl is delightfully resilient anyway: she barely cried when TT threw a ball at her face when she was 4 months old. Boys watch out! Emma's a bad a$$. Plus my infant was wearing a size 6 diaper....
I then came home to find out an old friend is beginning new life changes and has given me credit for his inspiration. I cannot tell you what that means to me. One: this guy is an amazing person. People who know me now might think we're an odd match for friends.... but let me tell you, screw what everyone else thinks and get to know someone's heart and none of the rest of it matters. This guy's heart is one of the biggest ever. I'm so proud of him. Two: To be considered an inspiration to someone was always what I said I wanted to do before I died. I've heard people call me this more often recently and I really don't take it lightly. That's a big responsibility. But to get to this point in my life where I can be so positive and have so much love for myself, my family, my friends, and my work....go back, I included myself in that lineup......that's taken a lot of work from the inside out. I'm so honored that anybody would consider me an inspiration for any reason (unless you're doing something stupid in which case forget you know me) and I'm so happy to be able to share myself and my journey with others. I don't get big paychecks and I don't get much recognition from my kids for
So today, I'm not going to freak out. But hopefully I'm going to shower and eat more than an orange....
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