I never know where to start because I leave you all for oh so long in between posts (note to self, STOP THAT) so I type and delete and type and delete....
The Terrorist started pole vaulting out of his crib. That is the only description I am able to imagine in my head that would afford him the ability to make it out of the bed and down the stairs in less than 2 minutes. I try to prevent injuries before they happen (as my profession dictates and it's really just more logical) so we took the front of the crib off and voila! toddler bed. The freedom was oh too much and soon the house became his party palace in the wee hours of the morning....I really thought we would at least make it to the teenage years before this was a problem. After quite a few nights of waking up to our home turned frat house, we had HAD IT! His room has been gated off and he had to be sleep trained all over again. Well we sleep trained him so well that I can't get him to stay awake anymore. Yesterday I had to wake him up at 10:45 AM. Again....is he 15?! Today, we got the day started at 9 am and that's far too late for me.
In the first half hour, I had pumped and fed both babies cereal AND a bottle, all three were dressed (well too I might add) and toddler terrorist was snacking on a banana. How did I even manage that?! No one knows. Anyway. Of course this was followed by telling TT "no" one billion times and finding him eating chocolate with the wrapper on (which is FAR better than what I found him eating yesterday....I simply cannot share this in good conscience) Hubby and I started the Whole30 program today. That requires much more meal prep than my morning typically consists of. Coffee with creamer? That'll hold me a few hours. Protein smoothie? That'll hold me until dinner. So as I'm trying to prepare my breakfast of champions (and MILFs) I'm vacuuming, making TT's breakfast, and getting everything ready to hop in the car to Whole Foods.
We manage this and as I'm about halfway into our drive to Short Pump..... (em effff geeee deeee craaaaa shhhhhh) "oh poop! mommy forgot the stroller attachments AND the baby bjorn" See this is why I never clean out my car EVER. Way to go, mother of the year! So I show up at the land of the tiny shopping cart with no way to cart my humans. But I'm freaking determined to have my groceries because ain't nobody got time no othuh day no ways. So, both carseats sit on top of the basket portion flip flopped because that's the only way they'll fit and I'm allowing TT to walk/push/DANGIT WILL YOU GET BACK TO THE CART?!?!?!?! Officially laughed at by everyone walking by and I got the "oh bless her heart" look from approximately 5 ol southern ladies.
We somehow managed to get some things that I'm mostly positive are Whole30 based on the ingredients lists I tried to read while chasing TT around. One of the Whole Foods employees so generously helped me out to the car and she bucked at someone not slowing down in their car as we walked across the road. Oh you read that right, she bucked. She was a middle aged white lady with a wrist brace but she knows what's up.
We arrived home with both babies screaming for food and TT demanding a hot dog. He saw some at Whole Foods and kept yelling "LIIIIIIIAMMMMM I FOUND YOUR HOT DOGSSSSS" Liam is BFF #1. I finally fixed myself another Whole30 meal and prepared him lunch and pumped and fed babies and REALLY WANTED some outside play time because hellllllloooooo nurse! it's gorgeous outside! But naptime came and naptime was necessary.
During naptime, I have cleaned out our refrigerator, unloaded the groceries, done two loads of laundry, picked up the trains (oh my GOSH the TRAINS!), vacuumed the kitchen (YES AGAIN), mopped the kitchen and now written this delightful piece of
So now, I'm going to put all of my human hauling equipment BACK into the ASSPAT and I shall nary again leave home without it.
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